Evoking memories of President Kennedy's 1963 challenge, NASA officials vowed to send Bush to Mars by 2007.

NASA officials, cheered on by an enthusiastic commander in chief, have vowed to place the president on the Martian surface by the year 2007.

Answering critics who called his Mars plans a wasteful diversion, Mr. Bush told Fox News that NASA's plans to send him to Mars are an important part of the war on terrorism. "Reliable intelligence from unnamed Venusian sources strongly suggests that there may be weapons of mass destruction concealed by Saddam Hussein on Mars. Current plans are for a military invasion no later than the Spring of 2007. I intend to visit the troops later that year on Thanksgiving, when I will name my choice for who will succeed me. I can't say who that is right now, but I can tell you that I'm leaning towards a certain high elected offical in one of most populated Southern states."

Daschle Praises President
Senate Minority leader Tom Daschle was one of the few Democrats in Congress to endorse the Bush plan: "I think the president has shown courage and vision." Congressman Barney Frank also thought it was a good idea, but apparently for very different reasons. Holding back laughter, he observed, "Bush on Mars? Not a bad idea. How soon is he leaving? How long will he stay?"

On the Republican side, support was virtually universal. Said Tom Delay on the floor on the House, "The president is a true leader. Where he goes I will follow him." Reached later at his offices, DeLay clarified his remarks. "I meant in a political sense. I'm 4-F from exposure to bug spray so I wouldn't be able to travel with the president's Mars delegation."

Ming to be Deposed?
Reaction among Iraqis questioned in the streets of Baghdad was also supportive. One vender who sells rugs, Ali Muhamed Khan, seemed to sum it up for the Iraqi man in the street when he said, "For that I would pay a year's wages."

Major Shiite leaders were also supportive of the trip, and issued a joint statement endorsing it "provided Mr. Bush agrees to depose the evil secular Emperor of Mars, Ming the Merciless, and rule there in his place. "

Opponents of the president's plan's, led by Senator Rober Byrd of West Virginia, charged that the plan was just another scheme to reward the president's corporate backers with huge defense contracts. "We have families here that can't feed their kids, pay for health care, or find a job. Now he (the president) wants to spend a trillion dollars on invading Mars so he can get photographed serving turkeys to the troops. Well let him come here and serve turkey to the homeless on one of our soup kitchen lines."

Second Thoughts?
In a written statement just released, the White House strenuously denied rumors that the president was having second thoughts about his Martian trip. "The president is as sure he will one day walk on Mars as he is that weapons of mass destruction will be found there." However, according to one unnamed source, the president threw a violent, screeching temper tantrum when informed by NASA that the trip would take a year and was extremely dangerous, and that there would be no room to bring along his favorite brand of beer.

The source also reported that Vice President Cheney misled the president, telling him the trip would only take "a few days," and that space ships have gravity with regular toilets and showers. He also showed Bush some old Flash Gordon movies to aquaint him with the terrain, telling him, "If those clanky old 1930s ships could land and return safely from Mars, why worry about the modern high-tech ships we have today?"