Photo Credit: Distributed by anonymous sources via the internet. Clinton Faces New Porno-Gate Scandal

Reporters accompanying the Clintons during a meeting with teachers and students at a Catholic elementary school on the South Side of Chicago were stunned when a smiling president attempted to show a porno magazine to a gaping group of young honor students.

An embarassed Hillary Clinton moved quickly to defuse the situation, explaining that "We were there to talk about current events and the president stopped at a newstand to pick up a copy of Time Magazine for the discussion. We were running late and he apparently picked up a copy of Hooters by mistake."

Republicans Call for Congressional Investigation
When told of the president's alleged mistake, Senate Majority leader Trent Lott expressed both surprise and outrage. "This is low, really low, even for the president. To show pictures like that to young innocent children, I just can't believe it. Nobody let me see any pictures like that when I was a kid. All I ever got to look at were moldy old copies of National Geographic."

While Republicans were quick to call for a special Congressional investigation, Democratic supporters of the president led by Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts suggested that "This time, the president was set up. We definitely smell something rotten here." And Frank might be right. The Associated News USA has learned that the FBI has a witness in custody who claims he saw the newstand owner where Clinton picked up his Time Magazine tampering with some copies just before the president arrived.

According to the same sources, the exclusive Washington newstand where the president got his magzine was recently purchased by Chester Fields, a close personal friend of Jessie Helms. "The president has been buying magazines there for years, but apparently didn't know that it recently changed hands when the original owner, an old Roosevelt New Dealer, died."

Flynt Defends Clinton, Condemns 'Porno-Gate'
In other developments, erotic magazine publisher Larry Flynt came to the president's defense today. "Everybody knows that the president reads quality raunch magazines like Hustler, and not light stuff trash like Hooters. Whoever set up the president didn't do his homework." The Flynt announcement was made today at a press conference held outside the recently remodeled Washington Watergate Hotel.

Flynt is offering a million dollar reward for tips "leading to the capture and conviction of those responsible for Porno-Gate." Sources close to the president refused to comment on the Flynt reward money, but did insist that "Clinton is 100% innocent. Hillary raided his private stash and burned all the porno magazines months ago, including the ones he had hidden behind the bathtub. He's not even allowed to look at a Victoria's Secrets catalogue."

Clinton staffers also denounced an anonymous float which appeared last week at the Philadelphia Founders Day Parade. "We had nothing to do with that ridiculous float. And contrary to what the Republicans are saying, those dingalings were not supporters of the president." Police confiscated the float after a brief scuffle.