Credit: KRAP T.V., Houston

Embarassing Ad Aired on Houston Television, Bush Subpoenaed in 'Whistle Blower' Lawsuit

"We were still airing the show when our phone banks started lighting up like Christmas trees," so says little known anchorman Alphonse Goretell of KRAP T.V. in Houston.

What viewers saw was a one minute T.V. spot for "Bush Estates," which KRAP claims is really Serenity Estates (SE), the second largest cemetary and funeral service chain in Texas. According to Goretell, "Sources tell us the Bush family secretly purchased SE in 1991 and had intended to make the acquisition public, figuring I guess than the family name would help business. But when George W. Bush was elected Governor, the ad campaign was shelved and ownership kept secret." While Goretell insisted his sources were reliable, independent efforts by The New York Slime to corroborate Bush family ownership of SE have so far been unsuccessful.

$10,000 Pine Box Funerals
Many of the caller's to KRAP had recently lost loved-ones and were angry over SE's astronomically high burial and funeral costs. Said one anonymous caller, "It's bad enough I paid $10,000 to bury my poor wife with a pine box in some mosquito-invested swampland. But to know that Bush, who I actually voted for, owns this damned place and doesn't even have the guts to admit it, that really makes my blood boil."

In related developments, Bush remains under fire for allegedly delivering political favors two years ago to close friend and major campaign contributor Robert Waltrip, founder of Service Corporation International (SCI), the largest funeral service company in Texas. Waldrip is also the brainchild of one of the strangest museums in the world, The American Funeral Service Museum, in downtown Houston. As described in MSN's Sidewalk Houston, their bizarre collection includes "beautifully polished funeral vehicles of every stripe: from horse-drawn carriages and a funeral sleigh to the massive, one-of-a-kind Packard funeral bus to a breathtakingly ornate Japanese hearse."

Other "morbidly delightful" features cited by Sidewalk Houston include "Funerals of the Famous; dioramas of mourning apparel; a home funeral (with the undertaker's accessories still neatly packed in their cases); and an early embalming room, complete with a number of tools." The photograph on the upper right depicts one of the museum's favorite exhibits, a casket in the shape of a jet plane—a favorite of George Bush senior's. A former combat pilot during WWII, Bush senior has reportedly purchased a similar casket for his own burial.

Bush Subpoenaed, SCI Fined $445,000
Last year, Bush was subpoened to give a deposition in a lawsuit brought by 'whistle-blower' Eliza May, the fired executive director of the Texas Funeral Service Commission. Ms. May led the agency's investigation into the Houston-based SCI. The subpoena was subsequently quashed by a judge appointed by Bush four years ago.

As reported in Salon Magazine, "Ms. May's suit alleges that SCI, whose political action committee gave Bush $35,000 in 1996 and 1997, worked with Bush's staff to interfere with the investigation. The defendants are the funeral commission, SCI and Waltrip."

Some of the charges against SCI border on the macarbe. Lobby Watch, published by Texans for Public Justice, reported in March of 1999 "That in early 1998 the Texas Funeral Service Commission (TFSC) began investigating complaints that SCI was entrusting stiffs to unlicensed embalming companies. Four months after an April 1998 raid of SCI properties for subpoenaed documents, a TFSC panel recommended a record $445,000 fine against SCI." In one particularly gruesome story, outraged family members told of finding the body of a loved one ouzing embalming fluid all over the place from the mouth, eyes, and ears.