Bible Codes Predict 100 Year
Bush Family Rule
Jeb to Succeed Dubya
When contacted, the White House refused to comment specifically on Heidrich's claims but did add that "Heidrich is a much respected figure in the scientific world. We welcome a healthy and open minded hearings in the Congress concerning his claims."
Heidrich also believes that the bible codes predict President Bush's successor. "We found both 'Jeb' and 'toad' in close proximity on the same scroll with the prediction of a 100 year Bush family rule. This is doubly significant because toads were one of the seven plagues Moses called down upon Egypt, so any linking between the name of someone in the Bush family and toads indicates divine origins and intentions." Heidrich refused to speculate who might succeed Jeb Bush, but added that Jenna Bush was not out of the question ". . . if she manages to stay sober and doesn't run over too many pedestrians with one of the sports cars her mother keeps buying her."
Rove in the Bible Codes?
Meanwhile, critiques of bible code theory were falling over in laughter when informed of Heindrich's findings. Jonus Rosen of "Americans for Separation of Church and State" scoffed at Heidrich's claims. "Any book, such as the novel 'Moby Dick,' can be used to reveal secret codes just like the bible codes." Rosen was referring to a challenge by bible codes founder Michael Drosnin, who once dared his detractors by saying, "When my critics find a message about the assassination of a prime minister encrypted in Moby Dick, I'll believe them."
The Mody Dick Codes?
Heidrich appeared unmoved by the attacks. "I have both god and science on my side. Like it or not, the Bush haters will have to come to terms with the inevitability of bible codes prophecy and the hundred year rule of Bush. In fact, it might be 200 years, depending on how you translate Hebrew." Rosen was equally confident that Heidrich's predictions were bunk, observing, "I can recall a similar promise made by a certain political party in Germany that they would have a thousand year reich or rule. I think we all know what happened to them."
All content on The New York Slime web site is intended solely as political satire and social commentary, and constitutes protected free speech under the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. Quotes and circumstances attributed to celebrities and politicians, living or dead, are fictional and strictly for laughs.